Sleepless Mornings

I'm back after months of doing this and that. Hey, at least I have an excuse. I've just been so busy with... life, I guess? Well, since my last post, I have...

• Defended and submitted my thesis
• GRADUATED (O.O)
• Gotten a boyfriend ♥
• Figured out how antisocial I really am
• Gotten a lot fatter -_-
• A new phone (since my old phone just decided to die)
• Been addicted with a sorta new game for iPhones and stuff (Summoner's War: Sky Arena)
• Listened to my mom ranting about her marriage multiple times
• Pondered the meaning of life
• And more that I can't really remember

Does that make me productive? Or is this list relatively short for the span of time I had? Well, I guess it is kinda bad that quite a few items on the list are negative. So I guess I wasn't as productive as a hoped for. I'm not surprised. I'm not that productive in the first place anyways.

Well as to why I suddenly decided to revive my blog is cause for the past week or two, I've had a total flip on my body clock. I honestly can't remember the last time I was able to sleep before 2AM. The norm for me nowadays is to lie in bed around 2:30 and just... shut my eyes. I'm not really asleep, so I don't feel rested in the slightest, and I end up opening my eyes again to see that it's around 4AM. Look at all that wasted time. I drift to sleep a little past 4, but end up waking up late into the day at around 3PM. By that time, I would've missed breakfast and lunch, so I eat a lunch/dinner hybrid. See how messed up my clock is? So now, I'm just trying not to sleep yet so that I might be able to sleep earlier in the night. I really hope this works.

So whenever I'm just lying in bed, I end up over-thinking how useless I've become. I figure that if my parents ever do end up breaking up, I don't have enough life skills of common sense to survive. I don't know how to cross the street, commute, talk on the phone, buy stuff from anywhere that's not in a mall, ride a bike, ride a car, exercise, and more. See? If someone plopped me in the middle of town somewhere, I'd most probably end up either a beggar or even dying there. Sad, isn't it? 

So what about all this ranting? Well, I'm gonna use this as a reason for me to actually start doing something with my life. I don't wanna keep having all these dull moments anymore. I wanna be able to actually do something with my life. I don't wanna be an old joe shmoe. I wanna be someone that does things that she could boast to her kids and grandkids. So far, I'm not doing so good, but I know that I'm still too young to give up. I'm not even 20 years old yet. A lot can change in 5, 10, or 20 years. I'm not gonna give up yet. So I guess I'll take it one step at a time.

That means that as a first step, I need to... get some sleep.