I'm the sister nobody wants

I'm the spoiled little sister that has to get what I want.

I'm the mean older sister that wants to be the "bunso" of the family again.

I'm the sister that is too awkward to be able to keep up a conversation.

I'm the sister that isn't noticed, but wants to be.

I'm the sister that wants to get closer to her siblings, but can't find it in herself to take the first step, to make the first move. I'm stuck with reading posts and conversations about my family treating others more like family than they do me. I'm the attention whore sister that wants to be in the middle of it all. But I can't do anything about it.

I wish I could do more. I wish I could tell them I that I really like talking with them. But I can't. I just can't. So I end up forgotten. Replaced. I see others being treated more as a sister than I am. I just pretend not to notice. I pretend it's alright.

I'm the sister that nobody wants. I can't do anything except make a mess of everything that others have to clean up after. Maybe that's why nobody wants to be responsible of me. I'm just another to feed. I'm just another face in the family reunion. I'm just there, but at the same time not. 

Yeah, I probably fail at being a sister. Everybody can imagine the perfect sister as the one that will run to you at random times just to say that she missed you. The cute little girl that knows how to say how she feels. But I'm nowhere near that. I hold everything in, waiting for the time that my siblings remember me.

And now I'm just stuck thinking, My brother never talked to me like that before. My sister never taught me how to dress up. My little brother never actually looked up to me before. 

I never did anything for them either.