This is a blog of a bored little girl, so don't expect much. Posts are gonna be random and ranging from serious, meaningful entries to just some random shit. You can find most, if not all, of my interests in here, like games, nail art, music, food, and more. I don't have any previous experience with blogging, so sorry in advance if I bore you to death. :)
I'm amazed that 2013 is almost done with. Only one month is left of this year. That was way too fast for me. And coming up soon is Christmas, with the trees, ornaments, and gifts galore. My wish list hasn't changed much. This year is the same as any year. I would be totally happy with anything to be honest, but of course there are still those things that I would love to receive more than others. I doubt anybody would actually read this, but I might as well start listing these down.
*An original copy of either FFVII, FFVIII, or Chrono Cross (I would also enjoy the soundtracks of these)
*A teddy bear that looks like Ted
*A Patron Avril Lavigne Concert ticket (If I don't get one for Christmas, I'm gonna have to buy one in January)
*A Final Fantasy Plushies/Figure (I've seen a bunch of these somewhere...)
*Makino Tsukushi's Saturn Necklace (from Hana Yori Dango)
*A Planner (Since I'm more bound to use it if it's a gift)
*A Letter. Actually, I don't care if you write random shit on it or what. As long as it's a letter that isn't filled with plastic comments, I would love it. Sentimental person here.
Yup. That sounds about right. It's either non-attainable, or a letter. :))
Hello my blog! Remember me? I haven't written anything for over half a year already. How that much time passed so fast, I can't imagine. Anyways, I'm stuck in class and I'm bored as fudge, so I decided to type. I honestly don't know what I'm gonna type about, but who cares? :))
So right now, I'm a classroom. But not just any classroom. This classroom has this advanced technology designed to "increase" the amount of comfort for those within the four walls of the room. This state-of-the-art function is apparently a breakthrough in modern technology, but it's not THAT rare. Many high class buildings have this feature built in. Those that don't experience this technology on a daily basis embrace its effects with open arms, but to those that have already gotten used to it, it sometimes becomes a hindrance in productivity. This hassling technology is called the Air Conditioning System.
Often called 'aircon' in some countries or abbreviated AC or A/C in most countries (which for me is short for Agitating Cold), the air conditioning system is not a luxury for all. No, I'm not saying that it is monopolized by the upper and middle class (though that may be the case), but that not all people enjoy the effects of synthesized winter minus the snow. Sure, the cold is a refreshing escape from summer's high temperatures, but during the cold season, it should be illegal to turn the thermostat too low.
In this classroom, it's not hard to see that I'm the only one who disapproves of this unnecessary waste of electricity. My colleagues are wrapped up in extra shirts and jackets. One of them even resorted to wearing socks on his hand to protect his fingers from the cold. The moment our professor announced a quick snack break, the room was empty of shivering students. We stayed huddled together in the hallway, where open windows provided a safe haven from the blistering cold. Complaints about the air conditioner were heard from left to right. The suggestion to have the air conditioner turned off popped up everywhere.
Even I admit that not ALL air conditioners are like this. But our classroom in particular had the temperature set really low. Usually, I'm the only one who complains about the aircon, even though my jacket is part of my daily outfit. Even though I came from America and migrated to a tropical country, I became abnormally sensitive to the cold. It came as a surprise that I was not the only one with a chill.
Well I guess there's not much that I can actually do about the temperature, so I decided to just sit it out and brace the frigid air until the discussion is finished. It's alright. I've always wanted to be a talking snowman.
Just yesterday, my friend told me a cute story of what he saw when he got home. He found a baby bird in a cage. When he asked where the baby bird came from, his little sister told him that they found the bird on the ground, injured. A cat almost got to it, so they went to save the baby by placing it in a cage.
So my friend decided to tie the cage up into a tree so that the cat wouldn't be able to reach it again. Once the cage was all set, he noticed the mother bird watching over its baby. It wouldn't leave its baby behind, so she would stay near the cage.
She would also flap her wings, and the baby would try to imitate her. She was teaching her baby how to fly. The baby had a small wound on its leg, but its wings were fine. The mother bird still stayed near the baby, making sure no harm came its way.
When my friend went back to check on the baby bird before dinner, he found the cage empty. He had left the cage open for the baby bird to be able to fly out. I guess that means the baby has found out how to fly and has left with its mother already.
And now that today is Mother's day, I'd like to give a shout out to all the mother birds out there who always watch over their baby birds and who teach them how to fly. Just like a mother bird, we all have a mother. She may be far away, or just downstairs. No matter where your mother is, give them a hug or at least a phone call. Tell them thank you for teaching you how to walk, talk, and fly. Tell them thank you for never giving up on you, no matter how hard it is to take care of you. Tell them you love them.
So Happy Mother's day to all mothers out there! Take care, God bless, and THANK YOU. :)
Hello again my dear blog! After a month of not typing anything here, I'm back with a vengeance. My friends got kinda drunk and decided to pay me a visit. At 3AM in the morning. So here I am, wide awake when I'm supposed to be asleep. So I decided to make another blog post.
I heard this song one day while I was taking a shower. Yeah, it just happened to play while my music was on shuffle. I've played this particular songs plenty of times before, but this was the first time that I actually listened to the lyrics. The chorus pulled me in. So I decided to play the song again.
Lately, I've been pretty happy with my life. Sure, I still cry at night, but not as much as before. A LOT has changed in the past month. And that also includes my love life. Yeah, you read that right. I dunno, but I feel a lot better about my heart nowadays. It feels like a huge burden has been lifted.
Before, my mind was still stuck on my ex. He was my first and only before. I know I still love him until now, but not like before. In the past, I kept going in circles, trying to find a way to get close to him again. Little did I know that what I was actually doing was going backwards. Because of what happened in the past, I was now scared of having another relationship, thinking that history might repeat itself. I wanted to move on, but was afraid of getting hurt again.
But now, it feels like I can get over that fear. My friends have been encouraging me, telling me that even though my ex hurt me, not all guys are like him. I couldn't find it in myself to accuse him, but I guess they do have a point. I should stop comparing and start anew.
Yeah, I know that I've made a promise to myself that I won't get into any commitments until after I've graduated. I'll keep that promise just because I know it's the best thing to do. But despite that, now I actually feel that I'm Ready to Love Again. :)
So here are the lyrics to the song, which pretty much sums up this entire post. Enjoy! :D
"Don't judge a book by its cover" they said. If this is what most people believe in, why is it that we have to hide so much of ourselves? Dresses. Make up. And a smile. These things would make it so that less of the real me shows. But why do we still hide? Why don't we just stand up and show the world who we really are?
There are some people who are afraid of being judged. It may be due to a past experience, or the fear of experiencing that sort of thing at all. If I were to be asked, I would tell those people that they shouldn't be afraid to show off who they really are. I mean, who cares if someone doesn't like how you dress or act? You're not put into this world to please them.
The other day, I ate lunch out with my friends. Everything was all peachy until it was time to head back to school. While we were walking along the sidewalk, it suddenly started pouring. Everyone ran to the nearest eave to seek shelter while they searched their bags for umbrellas while I quickly slid on the hood of my jacket. When everyone had an umbrella over their heads, we started walking towards the campus. I went on ahead of the group with only my jacket on. My friends started telling me that they could share their umbrellas with me, but I just shrugged them off. For me, my jacket was enough.
Then I remembered a time back in high school when it would rain, then I would run to the center of the uncovered court and start spinning around until I was drenched. Back then, my friends would all give me a lecture on how I would get sick if I did that and stuff like that, but I didn't really listen. I didn't care what they had to say, all I knew was that I liked to dance in the rain.
I wonder what happened to the me from the past. I wonder where she went. Cause the me today was certainly not dancing. Sure, I still refused to share an umbrella with a friend, but walking isn't the same as dancing. When did I change so much that I stopped being who I was before?
I guess you could say that it's a win-lose situation, since dancing in the rain does increase the chances of me getting sick. But I still lost a part of me from before. I lost the me that would give a rat's ass about what others thought of me. Unknowingly, I because conscious of how people saw me, so I tried to adapt to other people's norm. I slowly became normal.
My birthday has come and gone and not much about me has changed. Well, except for my hair, which is another story altogether. Aside from that, I guess I'm a few gifts richer, I suppose.
Well, one of those gifts came from one of my best friends. Now let me tell you a little bit about her first. She's the vainest person I have ever met. And I'm not exaggerating. Whenever she's in front of a mirror, no matter where it is, someone will have to pull her away to stop her from staring. But I'm telling you, she has all the right to gawk at herself - she's gorgeous. Oh damn, if she reads this, her ego will burst through the ceiling. Oh well. Anyways, she's also really smart. She was part of the top ten in our high school batch. Beauty and brains, she's the complete package. Well, because of that brain of hers she got into one of the best universities in the country. (We were SUPPOSED to go to the same school, but she liked the course she got into there than the one at my school.) So she's now taking up philosophy.
Philosophy is the course of the atheists, well most of them. What with all the critical thinking and stuff, how could you NOT doubt godly beings? I've experienced these doubts firsthand, so I know how it's like to not believe. I mean, if you listen to the logic, it kinda makes sense. So after two years of my best friend being exposed to over-thinking, she is now having some doubts. When I asked her what her religion was lately, she told me "almost atheist". That's not good, is it?
But who am I to force someone to believe in what I do? I don't like it when people make choices for me, so I also wouldn't want to be a hypocrite. I didn't lecture her or anything. I guess the most I could do for her now is to pray that she comes back.
Now that you got a glimpse of who my best friend is, let's go back to my birthday present. It was a small, red box that looked like it contains some kind of jewelry. It had a red ribbon tied on to it, and the lid comes all the way off. It was one of the last few presents that I opened that day. And when I lifted the lid, I saw a small pendant in the shape of a cross. Yep, that came from my "almost atheist" best friend. My first reaction to it was "how ironic to get a cross from someone who doesn't believe".
But then my best friend went up to me and said, "I want you to put this pendant on your necklace so that whenever you see it, you'll remember me. And that you will be reminded to keep your faith strong, unlike what happened to me." At that moment, I couldn't help but smile because of what I heard.
When you hear homesick, you'd probably think I meant that I missed my home. Meeeh, not really. Actually, it's kinda the opposite. When I'm home, I'm sick of it.
I'm REALLY confused right now. My debut is coming up in less than a month, and my mom is busy with preparations. And by preparations, I mean invitations here, giveaways there. The entire "kitchen" is filled with Disney related stuff. And when I saw all of the things my mom was doing to make my party a success, I admit that I almost cried. I don't really like my mom and stuff, so it feels weird when I see her putting so much effort into something for me. I mean, I usually see her not really caring about what I'm doing and stuff. So the part of me that sees all of the work she put into this is super affected. It makes me wanna rethink how I see my mom.
The only problem is when I'm out alone with her. Sure, we may not be at each other's throats anymore like before, but sometimes I wish it were like that instead. My mom doesn't argue with me as much, but now it's more with my dad. We were talking a bit about how my mom got my dad a plane ticket to America for 1. In my head, I was thinking Aww, she wants my dad to have a vacation. That's so sweet. But when I asked her, she told me it was because she wanted to get away from my dad for a bit. Okay, that kinda ruined it for me. Even in the car ride back home, she went on and on about how "lucky" my dad is that she's so nice, or else she would have left him already. I wonder if a parent really should be telling that kind of stuff to their teenage daughter that has emotional issues.
That's why I hate it here. I really can't have just ONE weekend here at home when I don't cry because of something, be it an argument or something like this. I just can't stand it. But there is one thing I'm sure of though. If my parents DO separate *knocks on wood*, I'm not gonna stick around. I'd rather stay in Manila by myself than choose a side. If that happens, I won't have a home to be sick of anymore.
Have you ever felt left out? No, not just left out. But totally disregarded? Sucks, right?
Imagine a group of seven friends. If asked to group themselves into groups of three, what happens? Come on, recall your elementary mathematics. 7/3 = 2 1/3. So what is the fate of that one-third that's leftover? Here's what happens: nothing. Who cares about that fraction if there's already two complete groups?
Being the odd one out is very... depressing. I've noticed that when groups are required, no one ever goes to me first. I'm usually one of the fillers if there are too few in a group, or maybe the one people go to when everyone else is taken. Why is that? Am I too weird? Too stupid? Too small? Too different? Is that so wrong?
Lots of people like to sleepover at my condo. It's kinda like a second home to some. But what I hate the most is when there are a lot of us sleeping in my unit, but I end up sleeping alone. Yes, I like to be alone, but that's only when I'm actually alone. When I'm with others, I want to really be with them. I love it when a friend sleeps over and we get to sleep side by side. I really don't care who it is. (Okay fine, it still matters on who they are. But I'm usually really close to those who stay overnight.) It makes be feel less lonely than I actually am. But when there are a whole bunch of us here, I don't wanna end up sleeping alone on the sofa while everyone else is on the beds. The nearest person to me would be a good 3 meters away. And seeing that my condo isn't that big, that's pretty far away.
Even during breaks, people somehow seem to forget that the condo they're going to stay at is mine. They all go off to buy food while I'm left in the classroom fixing my stuff. When I walk out the door, I'm met by an empty hallway. So I have to find my way to my condo by myself and wait for them all to arrive. When they get there, they all have food with them, and I'm stuck cooking instant noodles cause I didn't know where they went to buy food.
Alright, the points I have been making are pretty shallow, but weeks of these events happened over and over again eventually gets to a person. So here I am, blabbing on about how I hate being left behind. At least my friends won't hear all this straight from my own mouth.
And here's one of my favorite songs that totally matches the point of this post. Enjoy! :)
It's already the start of a new year already. Is it just me, or did 2012 go by fast? Well I started of the year by myself, but I'm kinda used to it. Since I know that people around here don't actually start celebrating new years right on the dot, I decided to step outside 15 minutes before midnight. I went upstairs and onto the terrace, and I decided to just stand there and wait for the new year to come in. I stood alone, unsure of which direction to face. A few random fireworks had already started lighting up the night sky, so I had something to keep me busy. After a few more minutes had passed, the bigger displays started up. I was surrounded by light. A few sparks flashed from across the waters in Sangley Point. More shot up from the opposite direction. Honestly, I thought that those lights were breathtaking, no matter how repetitive they were. I dunno if it's cause I was alone or what. Actually, this is my first new years that I spent by myself. Usually, I have at least my family up with me. This year, they were all fast asleep as the clock struck twelve. But I didn't worry about it at the time. I was too preoccupied with the light show. When I turned towards Manila bay, I could see the whole horizon covered with small fireworks. Just watching those flashes put a smile on my face, up to the point that I started tearing up.
Even though I started the year alone, I didn't feel alone. I'm not sure that's such a good sign, but I feel like 2013 is gonna be good to me. I hope my feelings are right. :)
