Dancing in the rain

"Don't judge a book by its cover" they said. If this is what most people believe in, why is it that we have to hide so much of ourselves? Dresses. Make up. And a smile. These things would make it so that less of the real me shows. But why do we still hide? Why don't we just stand up and show the world who we really are?

There are some people who are afraid of being judged. It may be due to a past experience, or the fear of experiencing that sort of thing at all. If I were to be asked, I would tell those people that they shouldn't be afraid to show off who they really are. I mean, who cares if someone doesn't like how you dress or act? You're not put into this world to please them.

The other day, I ate lunch out with my friends. Everything was all peachy until it was time to head back to school. While we were walking along the sidewalk, it suddenly started pouring. Everyone ran to the nearest eave to seek shelter while they searched their bags for umbrellas while I quickly slid on the hood of my jacket. When everyone had an umbrella over their heads, we started walking towards the campus. I went on ahead of the group with only my jacket on. My friends started telling me that they could share their umbrellas with me, but I just shrugged them off. For me, my jacket was enough.

Then I remembered a time back in high school when it would rain, then I would run to the center of the uncovered court and start spinning around until I was drenched. Back then, my friends would all give me a lecture on how I would get sick if I did that and stuff like that, but I didn't really listen. I didn't care what they had to say, all I knew was that I liked to dance in the rain.

I wonder what happened to the me from the past. I wonder where she went. Cause the me today was certainly not dancing. Sure, I still refused to share an umbrella with a friend, but walking isn't the same as dancing. When did I change so much that I stopped being who I was before?

I guess you could say that it's a win-lose situation, since dancing in the rain does increase the chances of me getting sick. But I still lost a part of me from before. I lost the me that would give a rat's ass about what others thought of me. Unknowingly, I because conscious of how people saw me, so I tried to adapt to other people's norm. I slowly became normal.

And that's kinda scary.