Dancing in the rain

"Don't judge a book by its cover" they said. If this is what most people believe in, why is it that we have to hide so much of ourselves? Dresses. Make up. And a smile. These things would make it so that less of the real me shows. But why do we still hide? Why don't we just stand up and show the world who we really are?

There are some people who are afraid of being judged. It may be due to a past experience, or the fear of experiencing that sort of thing at all. If I were to be asked, I would tell those people that they shouldn't be afraid to show off who they really are. I mean, who cares if someone doesn't like how you dress or act? You're not put into this world to please them.

The other day, I ate lunch out with my friends. Everything was all peachy until it was time to head back to school. While we were walking along the sidewalk, it suddenly started pouring. Everyone ran to the nearest eave to seek shelter while they searched their bags for umbrellas while I quickly slid on the hood of my jacket. When everyone had an umbrella over their heads, we started walking towards the campus. I went on ahead of the group with only my jacket on. My friends started telling me that they could share their umbrellas with me, but I just shrugged them off. For me, my jacket was enough.

Then I remembered a time back in high school when it would rain, then I would run to the center of the uncovered court and start spinning around until I was drenched. Back then, my friends would all give me a lecture on how I would get sick if I did that and stuff like that, but I didn't really listen. I didn't care what they had to say, all I knew was that I liked to dance in the rain.

I wonder what happened to the me from the past. I wonder where she went. Cause the me today was certainly not dancing. Sure, I still refused to share an umbrella with a friend, but walking isn't the same as dancing. When did I change so much that I stopped being who I was before?

I guess you could say that it's a win-lose situation, since dancing in the rain does increase the chances of me getting sick. But I still lost a part of me from before. I lost the me that would give a rat's ass about what others thought of me. Unknowingly, I because conscious of how people saw me, so I tried to adapt to other people's norm. I slowly became normal.

And that's kinda scary.

Ironic

My birthday has come and gone and not much about me has changed. Well, except for my hair, which is another story altogether. Aside from that, I guess I'm a few gifts richer, I suppose.

Well, one of those gifts came from one of my best friends. Now let me tell you a little bit about her first. She's the vainest person I have ever met. And I'm not exaggerating. Whenever she's in front of a mirror, no matter where it is, someone will have to pull her away to stop her from staring. But I'm telling you, she has all the right to gawk at herself - she's gorgeous. Oh damn, if she reads this, her ego will burst through the ceiling. Oh well. Anyways, she's also really smart. She was part of the top ten in our high school batch. Beauty and brains, she's the complete package. Well, because of that brain of hers she got into one of the best universities in the country. (We were SUPPOSED to go to the same school, but she liked the course she got into there than the one at my school.) So she's now taking up philosophy.

Philosophy is the course of the atheists, well most of them. What with all the critical thinking and stuff, how could you NOT doubt godly beings? I've experienced these doubts firsthand, so I know how it's like to not believe. I mean, if you listen to the logic, it kinda makes sense. So after two years of my best friend being exposed to over-thinking, she is now having some doubts. When I asked her what her religion was lately, she told me "almost atheist". That's not good, is it?

But who am I to force someone to believe in what I do? I don't like it when people make choices for me, so I also wouldn't want to be a hypocrite. I didn't lecture her or anything. I guess the most I could do for her now is to pray that she comes back.

Now that you got a glimpse of who my best friend is, let's go back to my birthday present. It was a small, red box that looked like it contains some kind of jewelry. It had a red ribbon tied on to it, and the lid comes all the way off. It was one of the last few presents that I opened that day. And when I lifted the lid, I saw a small pendant in the shape of a cross. Yep, that came from my "almost atheist" best friend. My first reaction to it was "how ironic to get a cross from someone who doesn't believe". 

But then my best friend went up to me and said, "I want you to put this pendant on your necklace so that whenever you see it, you'll remember me. And that you will be reminded to keep your faith strong, unlike what happened to me." At that moment, I couldn't help but smile because of what I heard.

Hmm. How ironic.