Good Enough

After an entire term of hell, it all comes down to this. Standing by to see my final grades flashed on the screen. I'm not expecting much actually. I already know what subject I failed. The rest, I would settle for just passing. But who am I to blame but myself? I knew I was in trouble the minute I got back my first set of quizzes from my professors, but I didn't do anything to change that. I continued with letting my mind wander during class. Honestly, I deserve to fail almost all of my classes. That's why when I learned that I passed all but one, I figured that was good enough.

Back when I was in elementary, I would NEVER settle for 'good enough'. I wanted to be the best. I would memorize paragraphs in my textbooks, practice my reports at home, and actually give some effort. Now, I wonder what happened to the me back then. She probably got lost somewhere. Cause if you compare me back then and now, it's like two totally different girls. I've changed. I became rebellious. I became impatient.

I don't like how much I've changed. My standards went from the top all the way to average. So I'm gonna try to change back to how I was before. I'm gonna make an effort. I'm gonna study, take notes, and review. I WILL change back. And I will prove that I can do this. Two failures is enough, I don't wanna add to that. This time, I won't settle for 'good enough'.

Distractions

Welcome to hell week! This is the last week we are allowed to take exams before the finals, so all of our classes have our last test within the span of this week. In just three days, we have four different exams, all of which are math related. Imagine that. A week full of numbers and theorems to memorize and understand. How stressful can a student's life get? Well it is our last push to pull up our grades before the finals, so everybody's serious. Well, almost everybody.

They've been having group study sessions almost everyday now. Last night they even stayed in Starbucks to study until the store closed. Honestly, I'm not really the 'group study' type of person. I find it much easier to study alone in my room while I listen to random music. I can't stand studying in a quiet room with just my notes and papers in front of me. I like to play games and surf the net while studying, contrary to what most of my classmates are used to. I'm just not compatible to study with the likes of them. And I say it's totally fine.

Another problem with me is that I rarely study before midnight. I find it hard to understand and absorb what I'm studying if it's too early (for my standards that is). But I hate being alone, so I still tag along to the study groups just for the company. But lately I guess that's being a little too selfish. I guess you can say that I'm just a distraction to them. While they're all busy reviewing, I'm playing games that have sharp sound effects. And if I'm not playing, I'm usually talking or sleeping. The sleeping part isn't too bad for them, but apparently I should learn to keep my mouth shut more. I guess I'm just naturally annoying. And now I kinda get why a lot of people don't like me. Well it's not like they tell me to my face that they dislike me (with the exception to a few souls that I truly appreciate for their honesty), but I can tell by the vibes they emit when I'm around. Maybe it's just my existence in general that irritates them, but I'm not sure.

So I guess I should just shut up and lay low for the next two weeks since finals are just around the corner. I don't want people to hate me more than they already do. I guess I just won't tag along to their study groups for a while. I prefer being alone than having people get mad at me. I'll just have some more alone time for myself.

Faith Factor: Acceleration

The second part of the mini series titled Faith Factor started off with praise and worship as usual. The songs played included Cornerstone, No Compromise, Go, With Us, and Hosanna. I really recommend listening to these songs. :)

When we sat down, they had a couple members of the music team come up on stage to sing a special number. Now normally I don't pay much attention to the songs they sing during this time, but they shocked me by singing a song that I know and love. It's called What Faith Can Do by Kutless, which I'll post here so that if someone sees this blog, they can listen to this great song. :)

Afterwards, the speaker came up on stage and gave a short recap of what went on during the first part of the series. She then stated the main point of the night: Faith that accelerates.

When you look in a dictionary, you can find that the definition of the word 'accelerate' means to cause greater activity, development, progress. In physics, it even has its own law that is given by the formula F=ma, meaning that force is the product of mass and acceleration. You can tweak that formula so that you can derive the acceleration so it becomes a=F/m. We can give F and m a different definition though, so that this formula would mean 'Acceleration is faith in motion'. The main verse of the night was

"By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going."

Hebrews 11:8

Notice that the verse started off with the words 'by faith', which is the entire topic of the series. Actually, the entire verse pretty much described what faith really is. And if the verse isn't enough, there's also an acronym to remind us of the meaning:

Forsaking
All
I
Trust
Him

I guess you can say that this acronym pretty much summarizes the meaning of faith in a nutshell. Another verse was stated that helped to paint the picture.

31 Terah took his son Abram, his grandson Lot son of Haran, and his daughter-in-law Sarai, the wife of his son Abram, and together they set out from Ur of the Chaldeans to go to Canaan. But when they came to Harran, they settled there.
32 Terah lived 205 years, and he died in Harran.

Genesis 11:31-32

As you can see, they stayed in Harran for a pretty long time. They didn't rush themselves or anything, but just decided to wait. That tells us that 'times of waiting helps up depend on Him and trust his timing.'

Back to the main verse, we find that Abraham was 'called' to go off to a far place. When we go back to the book of Genesis, we can find the story of the call of Abram.

1 The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.

2 I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.

3 I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”

Genesis 12:1-3

Take note that in this passage, God says the phrase 'I will' a total of six times. These are all of the promises that God made to Abram should he follow. And when God wills it, he fulfills it.

God told Abram to 'go to a place' that he would 'receive as his inheritance'. That means that it is another one of God's promises to him. But if you were in Abram's shoes, would you follow? If someone were to suddenly tell you that they'll give you a piece of land that is far away if you went there, would you really go without hesitation? The world today is filled with doubt. There's a chance that the promise someone makes with you won't be fulfilled. But are you willing to take that chance and go? Going back in the bible, we find this verse:

6 Abram traveled through the land as far as the site of the great tree of Moreh at Shechem. At that time the Canaanites were in the land. 7 The Lord appeared to Abram and said, “To your offspring I will give this land.” So he built an altar there to the Lord, who had appeared to him.

Genesis 12:6-7

In this verse, we can see that Abraham built an altar. An alter is a symbol of devotion, so his act of building an alter shows his gratitude towards God. If you think about it, he has already gone a long way, yet he still works to show God how thankful he is. It is faith in motion that fuels our prayer and devotion.

The last main bit of the verse has the most impact. It is the part where he 'obeyed and went, even though'. I'm pretty sure almost everyone has a hard time to do something if there are a few details missing. When was the last time you knew you had something to do and you did it without hesitation? Normally when we know we have to do something or go somewhere, we would first ask questions like 'How can I be sure that will happen?' or 'What if I can't do it?' and that is totally natural. Many people like to be certain of things before acting. But when you follow someone's command without question, you have faith that you will still get your reward. Which gives us the lesson 'obey and go, even if we do not know'.

With this said, another speaker came up on stage. She shared with us another verse.
⁵ 

5 Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure.

6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

Psalm 16:5-6

She then told us about all of the hardships she was going through, She spoke about how stressed she was because of exams and tests, how much pressure she had on herself, and of the sacrifices that she had to make. But the main point that she highlighted in the verses she cited was 'surely I have a delightful inheritance'. That short phrase showed that God will reward us for our hardships; all we have to do is have faith. 

After this, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision:
“Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward.”

Genesis 15:1

She then concluded her testimony by giving a few tips.

• Put your faith on who, not on what - This means we have faith on God, not the result, for God is always there no matter what the result is.
• Pray
• Keep His word in your heart

The main discussion continued with a verse about what happened to Abram after going off to Canaan.

"Now there was a famine in the land, and Abram went down to Egypt to live there for a while because the famine was severe."

Genesis 12:10

The specific term used was 'famine', which meant a severe shortage of food. This was a major hardship in Abram's life, so he had to find refuge in Egypt. Even though he went to a different place, God still provided for him. For him, Egypt was a place of comfort. The problem is that Canaan is the promised land, not Egypt. That means Abram had to make a decision of whether to go back to Canaan or stay in Egypt where he lived comfortly. The thing is, when we run to Egypt, we are cowards. We are literally running away from our problems. We don't follow God's orders just so that we could live without a certain issue bothering us. But ask yourself - is that the right thing to do? I'm pretty sure every single one of us has run away from the path that God made for us for our own selfish needs. But if we read on, we find that Abraham still went back to Canaan. In the end, he still came back to God, which is exactly what we should do in that kind of situation.

God has no plan B. Everything that happens to us, God has willed it. Whether it be good or bad, God is still the one that wrote our story. If it is for good, we are blessed. Even if its bad, that's just God's way of saying that he has better in store for us. Nothing is an accident.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

20 Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21 being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.

Romans 4:20-21

The condition of your faith does not just affect you. It affects others. It affects the world. How you view your world gives a great insight as to the condition of your faith. Your perspective in turn affects how you act, not just when you're alone, but also when you're around others. And those acts will also affect the world around you.

"...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Hebrews 12:2

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. This is a reminder that Jesus in the foundation of our faith. He is at the center of everything. So as long as we keep our eyes on him, we can have faith in Him.

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see."

Hebrews 11:1

Jesus is the Foundation of a Faith that Accelerates.